fear and desire for solicitude of mother

• any child longs for Mother’s solicitude … mother betrayed her role and forever charged that feminine imago … with fear sufficient to match the desire … desperately seeking connection with “Her,” and at the same time fears her. As one only attacks what one fears, so his fear is very great indeed … and a secret he must keep from himself. Such secrets are toxic; they invariably spill over into relationships and wound others
• the top priority of the ego is security, doubt is an unwelcome visitor to us … ego is like a petty tyrant who must fulminate on the rightness of its position as a compensation for the swamp of doubt upon which its castle is built
  
• Swamplands of Soul (1996)

linked mentions for "fear and desire for solicitude of mother":

1. exigencies of childhood vulnerability
   the literal dependence of terribly vulnerable child on its relationships is profoundly overlearned, overconditioned … it becomes difficult later to