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❚ sexual ❚ intelligence ✱ Marty Klein

perceived rejection in sex

… the sequence of events some patients take for granted: “You wanted to make love with him … create closeness and pleasure for both of you … And when he said ‘no thank you,’ you turned away and refused to hug, talk, or even look at him.” It’s a decision that you make … that does not enhance your relationship or your chances of creating enjoyable sex next time … doesn’t make you feel good … patients struggle with what they perceive as rejection.

“She’s not rejecting you, she’s rejecting sex with you,” “She didn’t tell you to go away, didn’t say you were disgusting, didn’t say she’ll never want sex with you. She just said no to sex with you in a particular moment.” Of course, I encourage people who say “no thank you” to reach out and hug or touch their partner