a perspective on psychological work
We often fall into the trap of believing that we are defined by our pasts, that we are our past. Although the past may seem like a solid foundation upon which to build our futures, it is actually merely a construction of the mind. To find our true selves, we must first change the way we treat our history. The past and the future are both fictions in the psychological sense, yet we can be as deluded about that truth as about the broadcasts from the worldly affairs. Our factual history is placed on one side, separate from all the imaginaries on the other.
By delving into battles of history, the creative class conjures up fantasies of terrible futures in our sci-fi films, books, and television. Thereby, we collectively begin giving life to these imagined dystopias, believing in calamitous futures as if they were facts that had already transpired. When we accept a catastrophe as if it has already happened, we perceive no need to change it, instead we animate this realized fantasy in our present-day technology, trapping ourselves in a self-perpetuating prophecy of despair and complacency.
We must shift our perceptions to stop relying on what came before and start envisioning and enacting what we want for ourselves today and after. Our work on the betterment of the collective future begins with the improvement of our own. Our work on the personal future is done in the present, building anew in the here and now, from the truths we uncover today. When we employ psychology as an instrument to reveal these truths, it’s important to know the differences between the tools. Psychotherapy is about accepting the past and healing wounds. Coaching is focused on the future. It’s about creating a different future than the one that would have arrived by default from outside your deliberate desire and control.
Good coaching also helps people reduce anxiety, jealousy, guilt and overcome other difficult feelings, but it’s a by-product, not the purpose of coaching. It is not for dysfunctional or broke people. Its job is not to heal the sick or feed the hungry. The procedures may resemble those of other psychological genres. Deep work necessitates understanding our emotions and identifying core feelings that drive behaviours. Building emotional intelligence, preventing inadequate self-perception, de-weaponizing vulnerability (i.e. neediness or detachment) and celebrating uniqueness instead. There may be a focus on the somatic aspects. A coach may help men and women understand and change psychological patterns formed under maternal influence, improve their body habits, sleep, and emotional regulation, and introduce proactive self-care and exercise.
Coaching as a psychological tool only proves effective when applied with the right mindset. The future thinking! It’s there to help people reach their higher callings and unlived lives. The lives they aren’t living because they are trapped in pitiful fantasies about their pasts, poor desires, and self-critical “but I can’t”. Change is the only real objective of coaching. A change that is always happening and always present, regardless of whether we want it or not. One difficulty is determining which change we desire. Another challenge in following through and trusting ourselves completely to do so.
Catalyst is a perspective on life. I have a keen interest in integrative design thinking, personal and collective betterment through changing the way we create futures, and entrepreneurship with a potential to make a positive socio-cultural impact. Assuming the role of catalyst, I constantly remind myself that there are many people I can serve around me, and that there are enough people who share my principles. That there are people who find my work valuable, and hopefully, they understand that this doesn’t make me important, but just relevant.
I don’t call myself a coach, but I refer to the process we go through as “coaching” and always call the person I’m coaching a client. Because I don’t feel guilty about being in a deep, meaningful relationship that involves a transaction. The way a paying customer approaches a professional conversation is vastly different from the way they approach a lovely chat with a “really interesting person” they call a friend. Our mutual goals do not include pleasing each other. I am writing this because it may disappoint individuals who are seeking a paid friendship disguised as psychological work. As a client, you already have a future that will happen on its own if your life doesn’t change. You are paying for your dream to be converted into a plan, and this plan becomes our contract.
Our contract may involve promoting self-direction and intrinsic motivation, fostering cultural belonging, embarking on experiential learning. Mastering integrative physical practices like yoga, martial arts, and rock-climbing. Adopting introspective tools like radical journaling, working with intimate image and voice, to enable the self-discovery, to unfold the self-expression. Ultimately, the contract is about establishing productive relationships with your inner genius and yourself. The sole kind of relationship that is guaranteed to last for the rest of your life.
There is no specific approach or certified coaching technique. The certificate is me. You are the agenda and the method. Communication catalysis is not something that happens to a client, it is co-created with the client within the client. We work on noticing lies, deceitful statements, distractions, and fear — the crowning fear — of the power you perceive to be anywhere outside yourself: in objects, money, deities, and — most dangerously — in others. Everything that makes us so unique and resilient is easily plagued by forces outside of us. We are consumed by fear, conditioning ourselves to reject our inner power and, instead, becoming entirely reliant on the pursuit of external validation in every mundane aspect of our daily living.
There is a difference between struggling people, the people struggling to turn a dream into a clear vision, and people that struggle to make that vision a reality. But struggling yet feels all the same. This is why there are so many wealthy and successful people who live lives of a loud or quiet desperation. Doubt is the necessary fuel for change and growth. We work on difficulties with making decisions and the inability thus far to make bold choices in life. To follow through and trust ourselves completely to do so. The problem, then, is not doubt — it is fear of change. No one needs a coach, but everyone needs to overcome the fear to find out what they truly want and what they are capable of. Therefore, one may want to hire a coach, or better yet — a communication catalyst.
linked mentions for "work":
The process, not the destination, is key to self-directed learning and growth. Intrinsic motivation, spontaneity, and creativity are nurtured through self-expression and art. Intuition, a powerful tool, emerges when the mind is trained to be open to spontaneous insights. It's a process of unlearning and expanding one's mental lexicon, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of oneself and life's meaning. Autotelic experiences can be enhanced by embracing self-involvement and interacting with the world.
who is a good coach?
Coaching assumes clients possess emotional integration and focuses on creating the life they desire, not fixing problems. Effective coaching encourages clients to value themselves and set intrinsic, joy-filled goals. Coaches teach, but never impose their truths, allowing clients' self-realization. A mature coach nurtures self-actualization through awareness, responsibility, and authentic values. In contrast, younger, material-focused coaches prioritize winning, often causing dissatisfaction. Seasoned coaches prioritize nurturing, intuition, self-expression, and joy while aligning with clients' essence and remaining supportive observers.
why coach introspection?
Introspection, while potentially yielding valuable self-knowledge, may also lead to self-obsession and chronic rumination. Our culture often emphasizes objectivity and causality, hindering a more open, phenomenological inquiry into ourselves. Shifting toward a "resolving" approach and embracing paradoxical ideas can offer a more constructive path to self-understanding.